AO 2020 In Texts
Patrick
Are you watching the Nadal game? Check out Delbonis’ serve action. I can’t help but laugh. He reminds me of a flamingo
Caitlin C.
Has the umpire always said ‘zero’ instead of ‘love’ in a tiebreaker?
Wolfgang
Just caught the cheeky Monfils in action. He turned a Korean guy into kimchi
Honey H.
Benoit!
Caitlin C.
I know she’s incredible but Serena Williams is a screeching nightmare
Honey H.
Are you watching the Muguruza match? Or maybe I should say listening to the commentary? I’m not sure the female commentator understands what ‘money shot’ really means
Caitlin C.
OMG! I’m in love (with Kyrgios)
Mum
Much as I dislike Leighton, he is v good influence around Aussie players xx
Caitlin C.
Someone needs to get Hewitt some sunscreen
Wolfgang
The frog isn’t happy
Mum
They are playing like they hate each other
Caitlin C.
Would you say Kyrgios’ outfit is an apricot or peach colour?
Wolfgang
I reckon it’s like a salmon dip colour
Caitlin C.
Yes! It’s a salmon
Wolfgang
He’s on the brink
D-Train
Could Kyrgios go the whole way?
Angie Kerber
It’s room 1147 at Crown Promenade
Honey H.
Dominic Thiem’s frosted tips!
Caitlin C.
Guys, if we stay friends until I’m retired and old, and I try and book an expensive river cruise in Europe, I give you permission to kill me
Not just permission, but my absolute blessing
Honey H.
I was at the Tsitsipas/Raonic match. I always seem to get the robot
Chuck
The Milkman has the spare keys to Federer’s chalet and is gorging himself on Lindt
Up 8-4 in the deciding set super tiebreak, Millman’s excessive and spiteful intake of Lindt throughout his match against Roger Federer would cost him dearly
Honey H.
Jesus Roger
Chuck
It’s a tough watch
Honey H.
Mirka the most animated I’ve seen her in a long time
Chuck
She’s in agony
Federer looks ill
Forehand abysmal
But the occasional casual piece of genius
Federer has a fever I swear!
Aleksandra
Poor John
Chuck
I think the worst I’ve ever seen Federer play. He might have purged the bad game and go on a rampage now. But if he brings that level v Djokovic, it will get ugly
Caitlin C.
Nick looking good
Mum
Don’t think Kyrgios can go the distance in this match, what do you think? Have also purchased medium frypan suitable for your stovetop xx
Caitlin C.
Oh geez. Nick getting a bit cray cray
Floss
Kyrgios and Kyrgioser...
Caitlin C.
Oh no!
This is too much!!
I can’t deal with this $hit
The crowd is going ballistic
Do it Nick!!!!!!!!
Floss
Career defining?
I think he’s a chance against Rafa
Rafa’s human anything is possible
Caitlin C.
Cheapest tickets are $400
Rake
I’ve only watched 4 games of Kyrgios in the last 4 years (the last 4)...and now I’m a total fan
Angry Serb
I hate Kyrgios!
Wolfgang
Watching match unfold via live score updates on google and glancing over shoulder of girl on tram right now
Caitlin C.
Guys, I think we hate Rafa in this household
Wolfgang
Wow! Go Stan! What a comeback
Caitlin C.
Great comeback! I love his scruffy vibe
Wolfgang
He’s the average man’s tennis player–makes you feel like you might be able to launch a career post-30
Strangely, when I was at the Yonex AO party two weeks ago, Wawrinka (above) and Nick Kyrgios didn’t appear to be clinking Asahis. There was no sign of Kokkinakis...or Stan’s girlfriend!
Floss
KYYYYYYYRGIOOOOOOOS!!!!!
Is something special unfolding?
Wolfgang
I can feel it in my loins...
Caitlin C.
I don’t like it when he hits himself in the head like that
Wolfgang
This is tense
Caitlin C.
Goddamit!
Wolfgang
Full on
Caitlin C.
C’mon Nick
Wolfgang
Rod Laver’s on porn hub
Caitlin C.
I think Laver is having a heart attack
Wolfgang
Definitely some signs of a stroke
Rake
F@#$*n nadal
Caitlin C.
Federer’s shorts definitely a Hubba Bubba grape flavour
Wolfgang
Delicious!
Floss
What did Roger say that the linesperson overheard?
Caitlin C.
Is the chair umpire a robot?
Floss
Loving this phase of Roger’s career, watching him fight for his life. What a legend!
It’s gone to a fifth
Skip
Sandgren is digging deep!
Floss
Fed serving for it
Chuck
Insane from Roger!
Lesley
Amazing!!!
Wolfgang
K thinks Thiem has a delightfully rotund derriere. I agree
Caitlin C.
She is 100% right. Look at it!
Wolfgang
Thiem is definitely sourcing his power from that butt
Rake
I’ve never seen Rafa being beaten at his own game like this before
Caitlin C.
Rafa is such a diva!!! Seriously, he’d be hard to date I reckon
Wolfgang
He needs to suck it up and get some better deodorant–Lynx Africa should do the job
Caitlin C.
Deal with it Rafa!! Your body sweat is helping you cool down–be grateful for your evolutionary physiology damn it!
An extreme close up of Rafael Nadal’s left nipple during his four-hour slugfest with Dominic Thiem...super salty, brah! (image courtesy of channel 9)
Wolfgang
Ol’ sweaty pants Nadal ain’t happy! He’s going to go ballistic!!
He might murderer a ball kid at this rate
*Murder
Caitlin C.
Rafa losing his $hit
Too sweaty and all his OCD wiping isn’t helping
Floss
What the hell! Thief’s gone mental in the last 5 minutes
Caitlin C.
Oh geez! I can’t deal with this
Honey H.
Yesssssss not a boring final now!!
Wolfgang
Well done you peachy Austrian backstreet boys hairdo dreamboat
Honey H.
Not really looking forward to Roger getting slowly tortured tonight
Floss
Nice early break
Wolfgang
Intense yell from the joker
Floss
Djokovic looked like a little yappy dinosaur before
Welcome to Terrible Lizard NOODLE SOUP. You gonna being tonight ur appetite for HIGHER THAN EVER MONSTER! Never hungry again new formula!
Caitlin C.
This is sad
Floss
If Fed can’t close a set from 5-2, what hope is there?
Wolfgang
Agreed
Floss
Novak’s serve is so elegant
He’s so good
He must do everything right off the court
Wolfgang
Such a flat vibe
Caitlin C.
That finger twirl
His sad face
Wolfgang
Kenin's got some grit!!
Floss
Just love the sound of the ball off her racquet
Caitlin C
A double fault! Oh geez!!
Mum
Great match to watch xx
Caitlin C.
Muguruza is a sweetheart!!
Wolfgang
Feels a bit like Novak is only running at 80% but still running the show
Chuck
Djoko return of serve is outrageously good almost every time it's straight back at the server's feet
Caitlin C.
You can't touch the chair umpire like that, surely?!
Wolfgang
Intense Novak!!
Caitlin C.
Novak is going to murder someone in the crowd tonight. Like an inverse Seles scenario
Floss
This is epic!
Caitlin
I reckon he has coronavirus
Rake
The Joker is just here to ruin everything again
Chuck
The bloke's actually a machine
Floss
Shut up with that f@#$*n goat ad!!!!!!
Rake
Australians should love Novak
Me
The real reason I hate Novak is because he’s better than the best of all time
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