AO 2020 In Texts

                  Patrick

Are you watching the Nadal game? Check out Delbonis’ serve action. I can’t help but laugh. He reminds me of a flamingo

 

                  Caitlin C.

Has the umpire always said ‘zero’ instead of ‘love’ in a tiebreaker?

 

                  Wolfgang

Just caught the cheeky Monfils in action. He turned a Korean guy into kimchi

                 

                  Honey H.

Benoit!

 

                  Caitlin C.

I know she’s incredible but Serena Williams is a screeching nightmare

 

                  Honey H.

Are you watching the Muguruza match? Or maybe I should say listening to the commentary? I’m not sure the female commentator understands what ‘money shot’ really means

                 

                  Caitlin C.

OMG! I’m in love (with Kyrgios)

 

                  Mum

Much as I dislike Leighton, he is v good influence around Aussie players xx

 

                  Caitlin C.

Someone needs to get Hewitt some sunscreen

 

                  Wolfgang

The frog isn’t happy

 

                  Mum

They are playing like they hate each other

 

                  Caitlin C.

Would you say Kyrgios’ outfit is an apricot or peach colour?

 

                  Wolfgang

I reckon it’s like a salmon dip colour

 

                  Caitlin C.

Yes! It’s a salmon

 

                  Wolfgang

He’s on the brink

BOOM!!!!!
 

                  D-Train

Could Kyrgios go the whole way?

 

                  Angie Kerber

It’s room 1147 at Crown Promenade

 

                  Honey H.

Dominic Thiem’s frosted tips!

 

                  Caitlin C.

Guys, if we stay friends until I’m retired and old, and I try and book an expensive river cruise in Europe, I give you permission to kill me 

Not just permission, but my absolute blessing

 

                  Honey H.

I was at the Tsitsipas/Raonic match. I always seem to get the robot

 

                  Chuck

The Milkman has the spare keys to Federer’s chalet and is gorging himself on Lindt

 

Up 8-4 in the deciding set super tiebreak, Millman’s excessive and spiteful intake of Lindt throughout his match against Roger Federer would cost him dearly

 

                  Honey H.

Jesus Roger

 

                  Chuck

It’s a tough watch

 

                  Honey H.

Mirka the most animated I’ve seen her in a long time

 

                  Chuck

She’s in agony

Federer looks ill

Forehand abysmal

But the occasional casual piece of genius 

Federer has a fever I swear!

 

                  Aleksandra

Poor John

 

                  Chuck

I think the worst I’ve ever seen Federer play. He might have purged the bad game and go on a rampage now. But if he brings that level v Djokovic, it will get ugly

 

                  Caitlin C.

Nick looking good

 

                  Mum

Don’t think Kyrgios can go the distance in this match, what do you think? Have also purchased medium frypan suitable for your stovetop xx

 

                  Caitlin C.

Oh geez. Nick getting a bit cray cray

 

                  Floss

Kyrgios and Kyrgioser...

 

                  Caitlin C.

Oh no!

This is too much!! 

I can’t deal with this $hit 

The crowd is going ballistic 

Do it Nick!!!!!!!!

 

                  Floss

Career defining?

I think he’s a chance against Rafa 

Rafa’s human anything is possible

 

                  Caitlin C.

Cheapest tickets are $400

 

                  Rake

I’ve only watched 4 games of Kyrgios in the last 4 years (the last 4)...and now I’m a total fan

 

                  Angry Serb

I hate Kyrgios!

 

                  Wolfgang

Watching match unfold via live score updates on google and glancing over shoulder of girl on tram right now

 

                  Caitlin C.

Guys, I think we hate Rafa in this household

 

                  Wolfgang

Wow! Go Stan! What a comeback

                 

                  Caitlin C.

Great comeback! I love his scruffy vibe

 

                  Wolfgang

He’s the average man’s tennis player–makes you feel like you might be able to launch a career post-30

 

Strangely, when I was at the Yonex AO party two weeks ago, Wawrinka (above) and Nick Kyrgios didn’t appear to be clinking Asahis. There was no sign of Kokkinakis...or Stan’s girlfriend!

 

                  Floss

KYYYYYYYRGIOOOOOOOS!!!!! 

Is something special unfolding?

 

                  Wolfgang

I can feel it in my loins...

 

                  Caitlin C.

I don’t like it when he hits himself in the head like that

 

                  Wolfgang

This is tense

 

                  Caitlin C.

Goddamit!

                   Wolfgang

Full on

 

                  Caitlin C.

C’mon Nick

 

                   Wolfgang

Rod Laver’s on porn hub

 

                  Caitlin C.

I think Laver is having a heart attack

 

                   Wolfgang

Definitely some signs of a stroke

 

                  Rake

F@#$*n nadal

 

                   Caitlin C.

Federer’s shorts definitely a Hubba Bubba grape flavour

 

                   Wolfgang

Delicious!

 

                   Floss

What did Roger say that the linesperson overheard?

 

                   Caitlin C.

Is the chair umpire a robot?

 

                   Floss

Loving this phase of Roger’s career, watching him fight for his life. What a legend!

It’s gone to a fifth

 

                   Skip

Sandgren is digging deep!

 

                  Floss

Fed serving for it

 

                  Chuck

Insane from Roger!

 

                  Lesley

Amazing!!!

 

                   Wolfgang

K thinks Thiem has a delightfully rotund derriere. I agree

 

                   Caitlin C.

She is 100% right. Look at it!

 

                   Wolfgang

Thiem is definitely sourcing his power from that butt

 

                   Rake

I’ve never seen Rafa being beaten at his own game like this before

 

                   Caitlin C.

Rafa is such a diva!!! Seriously, he’d be hard to date I reckon

 

                  Wolfgang

He needs to suck it up and get some better deodorant–Lynx Africa should do the job

 

                  Caitlin C.

Deal with it Rafa!! Your body sweat is helping you cool down–be grateful for your evolutionary physiology damn it!

 

An extreme close up of Rafael Nadal’s left nipple during his four-hour slugfest with Dominic Thiem...super salty, brah! (image courtesy of channel 9)

 

                   Wolfgang

Ol’ sweaty pants Nadal ain’t happy! He’s going to go ballistic!! 

He might murderer a ball kid at this rate

*Murder

 

                  Caitlin C.

Rafa losing his $hit

Too sweaty and all his OCD wiping isn’t helping

 

                  Floss

What the hell! Thief’s gone mental in the last 5 minutes

 

                  Caitlin C.

Oh geez! I can’t deal with this

 

                  Honey H.

Yesssssss not a boring final now!!

 

                   Wolfgang

Well done you peachy Austrian backstreet boys hairdo dreamboat

 

                   Honey H.

Not really looking forward to Roger getting slowly tortured tonight

 

                   Floss

Nice early break

 

                   Wolfgang

Intense yell from the joker

 

                   Floss

Djokovic looked like a little yappy dinosaur before

Welcome to Terrible Lizard NOODLE SOUP. You gonna being tonight ur appetite for HIGHER THAN EVER MONSTER! Never hungry again new formula!

 

                   Caitlin C.

This is sad

 

                   Floss

If Fed can’t close a set from 5-2, what hope is there?

 

                   Wolfgang

Agreed

 

                   Floss

Novak’s serve is so elegant 

He’s so good 

He must do everything right off the court

 

                   Wolfgang

Such a flat vibe

 

                   Caitlin C.

That finger twirl

His sad face

 

                   Wolfgang

Kenin's got some grit!!

 

                   Floss

Just love the sound of the ball off her racquet

 

                   Caitlin C

A double fault! Oh geez!!

 

                   Mum

Great match to watch xx

 

                   Caitlin C.

Muguruza is a sweetheart!!

 

                   Wolfgang

Feels a bit like Novak is only running at 80% but still running the show

 

                   Chuck

Djoko return of serve is outrageously good almost every time it's straight back at the server's feet

 

                   Caitlin C.

You can't touch the chair umpire like that, surely?!

 

                   Wolfgang

Intense Novak!!

 

                   Caitlin C.

Novak is going to murder someone in the crowd tonight. Like an inverse Seles scenario

 

                    Floss

This is epic!

 

                    Caitlin

I reckon he has coronavirus

 

                    Rake

The Joker is just here to ruin everything again

 

                   Chuck

The bloke's actually a machine

 

                     Floss

Shut up with that f@#$*n goat ad!!!!!!

 

                     Rake

Australians should love Novak

 

                      Me

The real reason I hate Novak is because he’s better than the best of all time

 

As always, if you need any tennis equipment, or just fancy a chat about the game, please drop by KK Tennis. 475 Malvern Road, South Yarra.

February 03, 2020 — Murray

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